As I’ve mentioned elsewhere, I wasn’t diagnosed until I was 40. I think that the diagnosis came so late on in life because of how I was brought up. Events in my childhood could easily explain away my autistic traits. So I thought I’d talk about my life to date over the next few posts to give some context.

I was bought up in the mid 70s in a two bedroom terrace in a small village in an industrial area of North Staffordshire. My home situation was not normal. I was an only child, and my mum wasn’t married, which wasn’t that common back in the 70s. We lived in what had been her family home with my two uncles, until I was 15. My two uncles shared one room, and I had to share a room with my mum. When you’re 15 and sharing a room with your mum, and your two uncles share a double bed, you’re not that inclined to ask friends over. It’s embarassing. Consequently you don’t really make any friends.

I was bullied at school because my mum was not married. So again, no scope for making friends.

Although there were other kids in the village, I tended to be a bit of a loner. They all had father figures who would take them to football etc and I had no-one. So they were into football and played it all the time, and I had no interest or aptitude for it. As we lived right next to the West Coast Mainline I took up trainspotting, as you don’t need friends to do that.

I was very much tied to my mums apron strings. I was a very shy child and she would do everything for me and would not push me outside my comfort zone, so when I was invited to do things with others, I’d often decline to do so, as I was shy.

When I turned 11 I won a scholarship to the local independant school on the merits of my intelligence. I was surrounded by kids from well off backgrounds, whilst I got free school uniform and free school meals, which was obvious to the other kids. They all lived in modern houses, I lived in a 100 year old terrace with my mum and two uncles. So I was picked on for being poor. The kids in the village didn’t want anything to do with me because they were influenced by their parents who were jealous of me going to a private school.

I was also picked on because of my high forehead, and my facial ticks, which I now think are actually autistic stims.

So I had no friends. I indulged myself in my hobbies, which were going out on bike rides by myself, train spotting, electronics and chemistry sets, and computer programming. One of my uncles bought a BBC Micro when I was 10, so I would spend hours learning how to programme it whilst I could see the kids from the village playing out.

The school that I went to was an all boys school, so I didn’t have exposure to girls during my pubescent and teen years, and that coupled with my home circumstances meant I never learned how to chat someone up. To this day I have never asked a woman out; I’ve always been the one to be asked. I still don’t have a clue how to do it, what to say.

I guess that I’ve always put my chronic shyness and inability to socialise down to my nurturing because I didn’t have the practice and experience in my formative years due to my home circumstances, rather than it being down to my Aspergers.